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Who Are You Letting Fix Your Heart?

May 9, 2014

People don’t fix people.  Jesus fixes people. 

I posted this as a Facebook status earlier this morning. I don’t usually post out of frustration or out of hurt, but upon hearing some news this morning, I couldn’t hold back.  So here’s a blog to explain …

In light of everything I’ve been learning the past couple weeks (and actually years at this point)

I’m going to go on a … short rant, here are some conclusions I had drawn:

1.  Relationships (of any kind) are hard but necessary.

2. Relationships take a lot of work.

3. Relationships are one way Jesus works in people.

4. (However) Relationships don’t make people whole.

5.  Jesus makes people whole (and He can use people to do this).

(4. & 5. Are kind of the inverse of each other and I’m OK with that.)

There are few things more frustrating than seeing the ones around you suffering if they ‘don’t have to’ (I do think that God uses suffering in our lives to shape us, in the context of the Gospel of course).  And I have definitely been on the other side of this coin; making choices that hurt my heart more than anything I’ve ever experienced.  Last summer I was an emotional wreck, and any number of people could tell you that I was in no place to love anyone.  It had happened several months earlier as well, and I somehow didn’t learn from that experience how to approach toxic relationships … I have learned my lesson twice now.

That said, I am often beyond torn over how to love those around me (and yes there is a specific relationship between two people that I am thinking of, but I know there are others I have thought of in the past and am also thinking of now) who are making bad (yes, this is relative to what you have your life centered around) decisions for their lives when you want to just make their decisions for them.  I can tell you how my mom reacts: belligerently giving you unnecessary advice and telling you you’re making a horrible life decision and how horrible of a person you and the other are.  Yeah that’s not a good way to go about it; that’s the quickest recipe for how to turn someone away and make them never look back.  Maybe just being with someone through what they are going through … I know when I was hurting most I just wanted someone to sit with me while I was crying or hurting.  They didn’t even need to say anything … just be there.

At the end of the day though, it comes down to what your life is centered around.  If you have yourself set up to be made complete by another human being, then that is what you are looking for, ‘your soulmate’.  Let me tell you something though, people hurt each other. Yes, they can love each other too, but even those who love you most (and who you love most) can hurt you.  Why?  We are all broken and looking for those around us to fill our hearts.

Let me give you some good news today.  You don’t need a person or several people to make you whole.  You have already been made new in Christ and He has everything you have ever desired.  All your heart’s desires were fulfilled on the Cross.  God made good on his promise to give us life. Whether or not you choose His life every day or you choose your own, it is always there.  That is why we don’t need altar calls, we don’t need circumcision (see Acts 15, our church did a Bible study on the subject this week, so this isn’t random, I promise), we don’t need to be perfect … We need Jesus to transform our lives so we can love, transform, and uplift those around us every day.

Living the nun life is about figuring out how to do this better every day.  Let me tell you.  It is not easy.  Sometimes I have a hard time loving the kids I work with; kids make little to no sense to me, but it is the most humbling thing and has taught me more about the Spirit of God than anything else.

So what or who are you letting fix your heart?  Who are you letting into your own brokenness and pain?  After letting people into my brokenness and pain, I’ve realized two things: they can comfort me, but they can’t heal me. Jesus has already done that.  Their comfort and love reminds me and affirms what Jesus has already accomplished on the Cross.

Live the nun life. Life with Christ is hard, but the best thing you will ever do.

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